Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 402
Joke # 1
Sent for Vetting Sept. 10, 2020
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RETIRED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:
Dear Mrs. Xxxxxx:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Xxxxxx, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. March 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. May 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. May 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. May 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don’t have a Code 3.
5. June 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. June 14: Moved a, ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
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