Chapter 386

1947 & 1948 - Do You Believe In Coincidences

The year was 1947. Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, 70+ years ago, numerous witnesses claim that an Unidentified Flying Object, (UFO), with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered-up by the U.S. Air Force, as well as other Federal Agencies and Organizations.

However, what you may NOT know is that during the month of April, year 1948, nine months after the historic day, the following people were born:

· Mike Pence
· Donald Trump
· Mitch McConnell
This is the obvious consequence of aliens breeding with sheep and jack-asses.

I truly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It certainly did for me.

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The Coyote Principle

CALIFORNIA

1. The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.

2. The Governor starts to intervene but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

3. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

4. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

5. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

6. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

7. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.

8. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

9. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.

10. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.

TEXAS

1. The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

2. The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $ .50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

3. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.