Chapter 377

Give Thanks to Pepere for these:

Try these...

Thoughts and prayers are going out to married men who, for months or years, kept telling their wives, “I’ll do that when I have the time”.

How long is this social distancing supposed to last? My wife keeps trying to get into the house

Nail salons closed
Lash salons closed
Hair salons closed
Tanning salons closed
Waxing salons closed...

It’s about to get ugly out there guys, stay safe.

Can we uninstall 2020 and reinstall it? I believe it has a virus.

If they shut the schools for too long, mothers are going to find the cure for the virus before the scientists.

When we moved the clocks last month I don’t believe that anyone thought we’d be going from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.

Dear single friends. Don’t give up. After 3 weeks of lockdown, there will be plenty of divorces and new opportunities

I’m giving up drinking for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Drinking for a month.

I hope the virus situation gets cleared up before the tick season starts. Otherwise we’ll be dealing with Corona with Lyme.

Snow White is down to 6 dwarves. Sneezy has been placed in quarantine

My girlfriend paints her nails with White-out. While she’s asleep, I come over and write misspelled words on them

I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do for a living. He was in the kebab business, and was buried with all his equipment. He’s probably turning in his grave.

You wouldn’t want me to tell you what my wife does for a living. She sells sea shells by the seashore.

If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, beekeepers are going to be furious.

The worst has not yet arrived. Just wait until the Jehovah’s Witnesses figure out that everyone’s home...

We are gathering together to witness the joining of Bob and Mary ... and the passing of Mary’s Dad ... Who said, “you can marry her over my dead body.”

My sister had hay fever. Then she came down with diabetes. I tried to cheer her up, got her flowers & chocolate.

Valentine’s Day. The festival of Love and Sex. Not surprising that its initials are VD.

Do you keep falling and don’t know how to respond? Try trip advisor.

Here is the SATNAV of the year award. But first, let’s take a moment to remember all the people we’ve lost this year.

A police officer came to my house and asked where I was between 5 & 6. He seemed a little irritated when I said, ‘Kindergarten”.