Chapter 366

Say thanks to Mike for the following:

An Irish Aer Lingus 747 flying from the US to Ireland called in an emergency.

“Shannon control this is Shamrock 121 calling an emergency, we are 300 miles out and have lost an engine, please advise.”

“Shamrock 121 from Shannon control, advise landing runway 70, wind 10 Knots variable.”

“Shannon control Shamrock 121, we are at 200 miles and have now lost a second engine, please advise.

“Shamrock 121 Shannon control, we have emergency vehicles on standby. Make a direct approach”

“Shannon control Shamrock 121, now 150 miles out and have lost third engine, please advise.”

“Shamrock 121 Shannon control, descend to minimum altitude and make a direct approach, all emergency vehicles now waiting by runway.”

“Shannon control Shamrock 121, now at 50 miles and fourth engine out, please advise.”

“Shamrock 121 Shannon control, repeat after me ‘Our father who art in heaven...”

Farmer asked his young farmhand to go and mow the upper paddock.

Some time later the farmer went to inspect the work and found the field beautifully mown except one small corner.

“You’ve done a dammed good job but why did you leave that corner?”

“Why sir, that’s where I had my first female, and it’s somewhere special also the mother was watching.”

“The mother was watching”, said the farmer in surprise, “What did she say?”

“Baaa”

Young boy was five minutes late for class.

“Where have you been Tommy?”

“Up Cherry Lane, miss,” said Tommy.

“O.K.”

A few minutes later another boy came into the classroom.

Again the substitute teacher asked “And where have you been Billy?”

“Up Cherry Lane, miss.” said Billy.

Finally in came a young girl.

“I know,” said the teacher, “You’ve been up Cherry Lane.”

“No miss, _I am_ Cherry Lane.”

Q. How do you sink an Irish submarine.

A. Swim down and knock on the hatch.