Chapter 361

An interesting thought from Mark!!

While I don’t have any jokes about rabbits ... The following has been tweeted several times but is worth another mention: As we end week 2 of lockdown, I have been thinking about Osama Bin Laden. He was stuck in his house with three wives for five years. I am beginning to wonder if he called in those Navy Seals himself.

And this is what dorsetmike had to contribute:

It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few further local Businesses around our Town...

The Specialist in Submersibles, has gone Under,

The Manufacturer of Food Blenders has gone into Liquidation,

A Dog Kennel maker has had to call in the Retrievers,

The suppliers of Paper for Origami enthusiasts has Folded,

The Heinz factory has been Canned, as they couldn’t Ketchup with orders,

The Tarmac Laying company has reached the end of the Road,

The Ice Cream factory says their customers have all Melted away,

The Barber says he just can’t Cut It,

The Bread company has run out of Dough,

The Clock manufacturer has had to Wind Down and gone Cuckoo,

The Shoe Shop owner has had to put his Foot Down and given his Staff the Boot.

And finally the Launderette, has been taken to the Cleaners.

Say thanks to mixerman478 for the following:

LITTLE BILLY’S teacher made the mistake of calling on him on another occasion, when she was teaching her students multi-syllabic words. Little Billy waved his hand wildly after Miss Jones asked for students to cite examples of multi-syllabic words. At length and in spite of her better judgment, she relented and called on him.

“Mas-tur-bate,” he announced proudly.

Miss Jones blushed and tried to control the smile that was curling up the corners of her mouth. “Well, gee, Billy, that’s really a mouthful,” she said.

Little Billy replied, “No, ma’am. You’re thinking of a blow job.”

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful ... except, every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, “Yahoo!” and rode off. “What did you do to get that Indian so excited?” asked the service station attendant. “Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.” “Lady,” the attendant said, “Indians ride bareback”

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican. The Pope answers the door, and says, “Dopey, my son, what can I do for you?”

Dopey says, “Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?”

The Pope smiles and answers, “No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.”

In the background, the Pope can see that a few of the other dwarfs are giggling.

Dopey then says, “Your Holiness, are there any dwarf nuns in Italy?”

The Pope looks at Dopey and answers, “No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Italy.”

With this answer, half the other dwarfs start laughing openly.

Dopey continues, “Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?”

This time, all of the dwarfs are rolling on the ground laughing.

Dopey raises up and says, “Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns in ALL the world?”

The Pope, answers, “Dopey, there are NO DWARF NUNS ANYWHERE in the world!”

With this answer, the other dwarfs start laughing, jumping up and down, chanting, “Dopey screwed a penguin! Dopey screwed a penguin!”