Chapter 355

Here is an opposite point of VIEW from Dominions Son

“I don’t know why people are so concerned about the corona virus. Most people know to put a piece of lime in the bottle to kill the virus.”

No, no, no. Then you get corona and Lyme disease.

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A Few from Dorsai about his Hero!!!

Here’s a few jokes with a common theme. I don’t THINK they’re duplicates.

After a difficult year, President Trump decides he needs a nice break from work and, as he’s heard about this big horse race but never been to it, he decides to treat himself to a visit to Melbourne Australia in early November to attend the Melbourne Cup.

While at the course, being feted by all and sundry, one asks him if there’s anything he’d really like to do. He says, “Well, I know I won’t be allowed to ride a horse in the actual race, but I’d really love to ride one lap around the course, just to get the feel of the place.”

Discussions are made with security and officials, mountains are moved, and twenty minutes later the Donald is trotting around the course on a (naturally) large horse, absolutely enjoying himself.

When he gets back to the stables, he thanks everyone for organizing the ride, and remarks “And I loved the mare you gave me, she handled herself beautifully.”

His host looks perplexed. “But Sir, this horse is male ... a gelding, in fact!”

“No, no, no,” President Trump replies, “she’s definitely a mare.”

“Mr President, I assure you this is most definitely a stallion, sans a few bit of anatomy. Why are you sure it’s a mare?”

“Well, when I was riding down the final straight all alone, I saw a kid in the crowd point in my direction and call out ‘Hey Dad, check out the big cunt on this horse’.”

At a G8 summit, after a pretty contentious set of meetings, Presidents Trump and Putin go for a walk in the nearby woods to see if they can come to a personal agreement on the issues. As they’re walking along the path Jesus appears in front of them.

They’re even more surprised when he says to them, “Gentlemen, you need to try harder to resolve your differences. Anything is possible if you put your minds to it.”

The both vocally disagree, saying resolution is impossible, to which Jesus replies, “Look, I’ll prove anything’s possible to you!”

“How!” they chorus.

“Follow me.” Jesus leads them to a nearby wide, fast-flowing river, and stops at the edge.

“Look, if I said it is possible to walk across the river, you’d say it is impossible. If you put your mind to it, it is entirely possible. Look, I’ll go first, then you two follow.”

Jesus steps off the bank and walks across the river, barely getting much more than the soles of his sandals wet.

Trump and Putin look at each other in amazement.

Then Vladamir says “Vell, I’ll go next. See you on ze other zide.” He steps off the bank and strides across the river, the water only sloshing around his ankles.

Donald looks on in amazement, then decides ‘Well, if they can do it, I can too.’ He steps out onto the river, takes two steps, then plunges into the water, and is carried, cartwheeling, out of sight down the river.

Jesus looks at Vladamir and remarks “Well, obviously Mr Trump didn’t know about the stepping stones.”

Vladamir looks at Jesus, perplexed. “Vhat stones?!”

A Trump supporter dies, and finds himself at the Pearly Gates, facing St Peter. After going through the entrance formalities, St Peter tells him “Well, since it’s a slow day at present, let me personally show you around.”

So Peter and the supporter go for a bit of tour of Heaven, ending up outside the doors to a MASSIVE auditorium. “Think you’re in for a treat,” Peter says to him as they enter, “coz it sounds like He’s holding a rally today.”

Inside is a huge crowd and, in the far distance, there’s a platform with a familiar looking figure on it, lapping up all the attention.

The supporter looks aghast at Peter. “I didn’t know President Trump had died!”

“Relax,” says Peter, “that’s not Trump up there.”

“Who is it, then?” asks the supporter.

Peter just replies, “That’s God ... He just likes to pretend He’s Trump sometimes.”