Chapter 349

Heard a Dr. on TV say to get through the boredom of self-isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives.

I looked through the house to find all the things I’ve started but hadn’t finished...

So I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz.

Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now.

Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.

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Mushroom provided this one:

Carl had been dating Janet for a few weeks, but every time he tried to have sex with her she turned him down.

So one night he drove her 10 miles out of town, and told her to put out or get out. So she got out and walked home.

The next week he took her out again, and drove 20 miles outside of town. He made the same demand, and she got out and walked home.

A week later after picking her up he drove 40 miles out of town. This time when he made the demand, she took off her clothes and proceeded to fuck him senseless.

As they were getting dressed afterwards, he asked Janet why the change of heart.

“Well Carl, I will walk 10 miles. I will walk 20 miles. But I will be dammed if I am going to walk 40 miles to keep a guy from getting herpes.

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