Chapter 347

Say thanks to lotwp91 for this one:

Yesterday, I was at the gym and in the locker room I was talking with another old fart like myself. I said, “Why are we doing this to ourselves? It’s not like we’re trying to impress any women!”

His reply (and it’s a classic!): “I can barely get into my pants, let alone anyone else’s!!!”

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Say thanks to mihickman for this one!!!

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, ‘I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.’ The older doctor says, ‘Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit.

Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?’ As they left the younger man said, ‘You didn’t even examine that woman?

How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?’ ‘I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was probably what was making her sick.’ ‘Huh,’ the younger doctor said. ‘Pretty clever. I think I’ll try that at the next house.’ Arriving at the next house they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman.

She complained that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, ‘I’m feeling terribly run down lately.’ ‘You’ve probably been doing too much work for the Church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”

As they left the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?”

‘I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.