Chapter 332

We were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. We decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so we voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

We said, “Man, what happened to you?”

He said, “Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”

The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

We said, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!:

He said, “Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.”

The third night was Fred’s turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“Good morning!” he said. We couldn’t believe it. We said, “Man, what happened?”

He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night ... Bob sat up and watched me all night.”

With age comes wisdom.

cmenn ‎ provided this one, yes it is corny but I bet you smiled!!!!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin get in the car.

10R2007 ‎ is responsible for this one.

I was in a conference recently where a Panelist was bragging about the nobility of being a “Son of Virginia” along with Washington and Jefferson.

The MC finally had enough, and broke in “Well, they were exceptions rather than the rule. Last year, CSI was considering setting a new show at Virginia Beach, but ran into three problems: All of the DNA was identical; There were no Dental records; and when they returned to the home where a murder had been committed, the owner had driven it away.”

Say thanks to the GuardianKnight ‎ for the following:

A farmer has an impotent bull. After months of desperation and trying everything he asks for the help of a fellow farmer, who tells him to show the bull some hard-core porn.

Despite the silly advice, he has nothing to lose. He sets up a projector in the barn and showers the bull with porn 24/7 for several days, and exposes him to the cows afterwards.

Sure enough, the bull jumps on the first cow he lays his eyes upon and starts humping like a champ as the farmer watches in joy, which quickly turns into horror as the bull pulls out and proceeds to cum all over the cow’s face.

A lawyer is getting out of his BMW when a semi rolls by, taking the open door clean off. A nearby cop has seen all of this, and runs over.

The lawyer immediately starts screaming and gesticulating about the value of his beamer and how much it’s going to cost him to get it fixed.

The cop loses his patience and says, “You lawyers are so materialistic. All you care about is money!”

The lawyer is incensed and says, “How dare you call me materialistic? Do you know what I earn an hour? You have no idea what kind of pressure I’m under!”

The cop says, “Well, you’re so concerned about your beamer, you didn’t notice the truck took your arm off at the elbow.”

The lawyer looks down and screams “Fuck! My Rolex!”