Chapter 323

Interesting contribution by lennutz ‎

A man walked into a tavern with his pet monkey. The bartender said “So long as he is on a leash and behaves you can stay.” The man assured the bartender that the monkey was very well behaved. Things went well for the first hour or so with the monkey eating the occasional peanut or sip of the man’s beer. All of a sudden the monkey bolted to the pool table and swallowed the cue ball. The man was so sorry that the monkey did that. He paid for the cue ball and left. A few weeks later the man returned to the tavern with the monkey and a fruit basket as an apology. The bartender was about to ban the monkey until the man swore the monkey would never do that again. Things went well until the monkey grabbed a grape from the fruit basket, shoved it up his ass, pulled it out and ate it. The bartender was shocked and said “What the hell is that all about?” The man replied “Ever since the cue ball he tests fits everything.”

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And this from alphqwe

Text message from a female employee to her supervisor.

My husband took some Viagra by accident this morning and it’s the maid’s day in. I’m taking a sick day. I hope you understand.

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And this from beamer142 ‎

The inventor of the throat lozenge died recently. I went to his funeral, there was no coughin’