Chapter 320

“Allan B”

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. (Ann Landers)

The other day upon the stair I saw a man who wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today I think he’s from the CIA.

The BBB (Blonde Bimbos Bureau) wishes to thank AOC for single-handedly putting an end to dumb blonde jokes.

What is the most popular Country song n Iran? Sweet Home Allahbama...

The female praying mantis devours her male minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it over a lifetime.

Never doubt the courage of the French – they were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

Why do women have trouble with math? Because they tell them that THIS (holds fingers an inch and a half apart) is 6 inches.

A man knocks on a neighbor’s door with a sheet of paper in his hand. When the neighbor answers, the guy says, “Hi, shall I write you down for this evening’s neighborhood orgy?” The neighbor answers, “Sure, that’s great. Put me on the list. Who’s coming?” The guy says, “So far, it’s you, me and your wife.” The neighbor says “No way! I don’t agree to that.” So the guy says, “OK, I’ll cross your name off.”

A psychologist advised his patient to fine a beautiful, loving girl who would like to share your hobbies. The patient said, “But doctor, where can I find a beautiful girl who’d be interested in whistling at beautiful girls in the street...”

The grandson answered the door and sees his grandmother there. He says, “Grandma, it’s great that you’re here. Now everything is fine and Mom doesn’t have to worry, since we now have everything.” The Grandmother says to the grandson, “Why? What was missing?” The grandson replies, “I don’t know but beforehand Dad said to Mom that you’ll be here soon, and she said, ‘Oh, great, that’s all I needed’”.

A mugger accosted a man in the street, aimed his gun at him and said, “Your money or your life”. The man laughed and said, “I’m married. I don’t have any money, and I certainly don’t have a life.”

Where is the Land of the Rising Sun?

I don’t know – I don’t get up that early

What’s the favorite food in Baltimore? Rat-atouille

Who was Mona Lisenbaum? That was Mona Lisa’s name before the family left Poland...

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; The only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you, and kill you, too. (Anton Chechov)

Arguing with a liberal is like playing chess with a pigeon: it knocks over a few pieces, s** on the board, and then struts around like it won.

People who don’t use auto-correct go straight to Heel.