Chapter 32

This one is compliments of John, the Earl of Ucolta!

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

‘Honey, she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today.’

‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce

A man walked into the Women’s Department of Macy’s in New York City. He told the saleslady, “I would like a Baptist bra for my wife, size 36B.”

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, “What kind of bra?”

He repeated, “A Baptist Bra.” She said to tell you that she wanted a Baptist Bra, and that you would know what she wanted.”

“Ah, now I remember” said the saleslady. “We don’t get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Methodist type.”

Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked, “So, what are the differences?”

The lady responded. “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Methodist type keeps them staunch and upright.”

He mused on that information for a minute, and asked “So, what is the Baptist type for?”

“They,” she replied, “make mountains out of molehills.”