Chapter 31

The following are compliments of Mike Shallcross

Young man went to the doctors about a complaint he had.

“Doctor,” he said in a high pitched voice, “Can you do something about my voice?”

So the doctor did a complete examination and when he got to his cock and balls saw the problem, 15 inches by a soft drink can around and that was on the slack.

“Your problem is the size of your Penis,” he said, “To get your voice lower I’m afraid I need to cut off half of it.”

“No way,” said the young fella, “All the girls I go out with and get into bed say it’s the best time they ever had, so I’ll just have to put up with it. Is there anything else I can try.” He asked.

“Well,” said the doc, “You could try a long sea cruise, without female company, it might help.”

So the young lad hired a ocean going yacht and took off on a round the Pacific cruise, making sure that all the crew where male.

During his trip they encountered a severe storm and he was washed over board.

In the water he noticed a shark fin and screamed out, “Help, Help sharks. Help, Ouch, (Deep voice), Help sharks.”

A royal Navy ship pulled into port in the Kenyan Mtongwe base in Mombasa and its crew were given shore leave, but due to regulations, Jack’s mate Jimmy had to stay on board as security and would get leave later.

So Jack went exploring on his own, suddenly he noticed an old man crossing the street with a car bearing down on him. Jack raced out, grabbed the old man just in time pulling him to safety.

“Oh! Thank you young man for saving me, I am a Witch Doctor and will try to grant you your most desired wish because you saved me.”

‘Well’, Jack thought, “I don’t believe in Voodoo Hoodoo, but just to make the old fella happy’ “Well I’m a little bit small, you know, down there.” pointing between his legs. “I wish it was bigger.”

The old man smiled and said, “Go into the Jungle at midnight, find a white elephant, climb up it’s back leg, lift up it’s tail and whisper into it’s asshole,’Oh! Elephant, elephant I wish I had one like yours’.”

Not wanting to offend the old man and was just a bit curious anyway decided to try the spell out.

At midnight he crept into the jungle and after a while found a white elephant, climbed up it’s back leg, lifted it’s tail and whispered “Oh! Elephant, elephant I wish I had one like yours.” And in an instant he was sporting a dick to be proud of.

Getting back to the ship, undressed and was just about to get into bed when Jimmy arrived, “Where the hell did you get that from,” he exclaimed, “what happened.”

So Jack explained what caused the happy event.

That got Jimmy thinking and when his shore leave came up he waited till midnight, crept into the jungle where he found a white elephant, climbed up it’s back leg, lifted it’s tail and whispered “Oh! Elephant, elephant I wish I had one like yours.”

He was immediately split from his crotch to his breast bone.

Tips my father taught me.

It takes a thousand bolts to build a car but just one nut behind the steering wheel to scatter them all over the road.

Everybody on the road is a frigging idiot except me.

Everybody in the world is crazy except thee and me, now I’m beginning to wonder about thee.