Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 308
Quote du Jour
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.”
- Troy Gordon
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A ten year Old Girl asks her mommy, ‘Mommy how was I born?”
The mother smiled and replied, “Once upon a time me and your daddy decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it and smoked it and got so high we fucked without a condom!”
✧ ✧ ✧
Paddy and Mick worked together in St. John’s Nfld. and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment Office.
When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, “Panty Stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties and Thongs.”
The clerk looked up panty stitcher on his computer ... And finding it classified as unskilled labor, he gave him $80 a week unemployment pay.
Mick was next and when asked his occupation replied, “Diesel fitter.”
Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick $160 a week.
When Paddy found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, “Panty Stitchers are unskilled and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor.”
“What skill?” yelled Paddy. “I sew the elastic on the panties and the thongs. Mick puts them over his head and says: “Yep, diesel fitter!”
✧ ✧ ✧
Donald Trump went to London and met with the Queen.
“Your Queenship, “ he asked her. “I am finding things way more difficult than I could have imagined. May I ask you - how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?”
“Well,” replied Her Majesty, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
Trump frowned. “But how do you know the people around you are really intelligent?” he asked.
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