Chapter 307

Thanks to AB for this group:

A husband said to his wife, “Why do you watch cooking shows if you can’t cook”?

She replied, “And why do you bother watching porn?”

The Clintons don’t like Jehovah’s Witnesses. In fact, the Clintons don’t like ANY witnesses.

A child’s prayer:

Lord, please bring some clothes for all of those poor women on Dad’s computer.

A beautiful, sexy lady was sitting next to a guy on a plane.

The lady said to him, “Can you help me remove something from my breast? ... please?”

The excited young man said, “Wow! It would be my pleasure. What is it?”

The lady answered, “YOUR EYES”

Idiot...

Porn movies are the most positive movies:

No murder, no war, no fight, no cheating, no racism, no language problem

Good cooperation, good coordination, natural acting

Everyone loves the climax, lots of love

Always a very happy ending for all the characters!

And the best part...

No matter which part you start watching, you will understand the story.

My neighbor obviously doesn’t watch porn. She asked me to come over to fix her sink.

I’ve been here for an hour, and I’m still fixing her damned sink.

Leave application:

Dear sir,

My husband had a headache this morning and accidentally took Viagra instead of Tylenol.

Since our maid is also home, I cannot come to the office today.

Thank you...

Why do guys bring condoms, and still don’t use them?

For the same reason girls bring purses on dates but don’t pay for anything...

Doctor: I’m afraid you’ll have to stop masturbating immediately sir.

Man: Why?

Doctor: Because I’m trying to examine you.

Will you love me after marriage, too?

That depends on if your husband will allow me...

She: I hate men who smoke.

He: OK. That’s cool.

He: I don’t prefer women who smoke.

She: Stop judging a woman by her choices, you misogynous pig. You don’t know what she’s going through.

The dog said to the cat: Why do you always hide when you have sex.

The cat replied: We don’t want humans to copy our style. They already copied yours.

Masturbation is easy.

But choosing a video is tough.

There are 70 ways to be happy.

The first is pizza. The rest are 69...

Who was the greatest country-classical composer?

Jethro Sebastian Bach

(from Oyster50)

Daily Redneck word:

Inhale

Why inhale did I get up so early today?