Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 299
Say thanks to Allen B. for the following:
I asked my fiancée why brides wear white.
She explained that white was the color of happiness, and a woman’s wedding day is the happiest day of her life.
She was not amused when I then asked her why she had picked a black tuxedo for me...
Playing Mick Jagger’s music in your closet protects clothing from holes, because a Rolling Stone gathers no moths.
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
These are all (allegedly) actual songs:
“How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?”
“I Still Miss Her, But My Aim’s Getting Better.”
“Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart,” by Johnny Cash.
“Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye.”
“Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.”
“I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here.”
“If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now.”
“She Got The Gold Mine, And I Got The Shaft.”
“She Got The Ring, And I Got The Finger.”
“Thank God, And Greyhound, She’s Gone.”
“I Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight, Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win.”
“Get Off The Stove Granny, Because You’re Too Old To Ride The Range.”
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