Chapter 293

I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here. - Arthur C. Clarke

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Say thanks to sbrooks103 for this one...

A German prison camp Commandant’s clock breaks, and he can’t work without the sound.

He has six prisoners brought in, line them up, and has them start going, “Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock...”

He’s happily working until one prisoner starts going, “Tick ... Tick ... Tick ... Tick.”

The Commandant gets in his face and says, “Ve haf vays of making you Tock!”

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One from Earl_John13 ‎

My luck is like the vegan, complaining to his insurance company that the hole in the roof of his house is the second disappointing thing to happen to him today ... The first was winning the meat raffle at the local football club.

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Compliments of blackbeard ‎

A West Virginia mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home she asked her husband “What is a specimen?” He replied “I’ll be danged if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She be the danged nurse.”

The woman went next door and came back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body.

“What in tarnation happened?” asked her husband.

“I’ll be danged if I know.” She replied. “I asked Edith what a specimen was, and she told me to go piss in a bottle! So I told her to go fart in a jug and that’s when all hell broke loose.”

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