Chapter 291

Say thanks to Gary...

The Six Most Important Men “In a Woman’s Life”

1. Doctor - Because he says, “Take off all your clothes.”
2. Dentist - Because he says, “Open wide.”
3. Milkman - Because he says, “Do you want it in the front or back?”
4. Hairdresser - Because he says, “Do you want it teased or blown?”
5. Interior Decorator - Because he says, “Once it’s in you’ll love it.”
6. Banker - Because he says, “If you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest.”

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Say thank you to Al for the following

Sign in church: Prophecy class cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

My doctor said that my weight was perfect ... I’m just 4 feet too short.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with one nail...

Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
A: National Dyslexics Association.

A U.S. woman was traveling in a Latin American dictatorship. She asked a local, “Tell me, sir, what is the national sport in this country?” The native replied, “That would be bullfighting, ma’am.” “Why!”, gasped the woman, “ that’s revolting!” “No, ma’am,” responded the local, “that’s the second national sport!”

“How do you tell a Communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin.” (Ronald Reagan)

My horse’s name is Mayo Mayo neighs

The last major snowstorm in Australia was called “The Blizzard of Oz”

Men buy lingerie like children buy cereal. They don’t really care about it – they just want the prize that’s inside.

Is Palm Sunday also called International Masturbation Day?

When adopted children get married, it’s their birth parents who should walk them down the aisle. After all. They’re so good at giving children away.

Q. What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? A. Hot cross bunnies

Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words.

I cuss, you cuss, we all cuss for asparagus

HEADLINE: “Government shutdown ends. No one can tell the difference

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Compliments of cbarge ‎

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because she heard that there was a big cock on the other side.

P. S. It wasn’t Jim7