Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 287
A cat dies and goes to Heaven.
God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.”
The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”
God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, “All our lives we’ve had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.”
God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”
The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”
The secret to a long life...
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said. “You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you’ll live to nice ripe old age.”
So, the young cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to be the nice ripe old age of 96.
When he died, he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren ... and a 16-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Bad Mom?
“Can you pleasehold my hand?” A mother asks her son: “Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?”
Son: “My name is Paul.”
✧ ✧ ✧
After the flood
After 150 days off flooding, Noah released all the animals from his ark and commanded then to go forth and multiply.
After some time, he saw that the flocks and herds were regaining their numbers, but he came across a pair of snakes who had laid no eggs, and were just laying about.
“Why have you not multiplied?” he asked.
To which the snakes responded, “we can’t, we’re adders.”
To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account
(Why register?)
* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.