Chapter 281

Say thanks to Wyden for this one!!!

Marie stands on the riverbank yelling at Pierre. “Where are you going, Pierre?”

Pierre (paddling downriver): “I am leaving you, Womahn””.

Marie (holding up his gun): “But Pierre, what will I do with zis?”

Pierre (paddling faster): “Give it to your brothair”

Marie (holding up his axe): “But Pierre, what will I do with zis?”

Pierre (paddling even faster): “Give it to your brothair”

Marie (holding up her skirt): “But Pierre, what will I do with zis?”

Pierre (paddling upriver): “Some day I leave zat womahn.”

Pierre: “For forty year, Pierre, he drive ze truck. No one, zey evair say, ‘zer go Pierre, ze truck drivair’, but suck wahn leetle cawk and zey all say, ‘zere go Pierre, the cawksukair’”.

Company Cars Have The Following Features Rarely Found In Private Cars.

1. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.

2. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.

3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance.

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4. They have a much tighter turning circle.

5. They can take speed humps at twice the speed of private cars.

6. Battery, Oil, Water and Tyre pressure do not have to be checked nearly as often.

7. The floor is shaped just like an ashtray/empty beer can bin.

8. They will only use petrol that is bought from the most expensive service stations.

9. They do not need to be garaged at night.

10. They can be driven for at least 100 Km with warning light’s flashing before needing to be checked.

11. They need to be cleaned less often, especially the inside.

12. The suspension is reinforced to carry heavy loads such as roofing tiles or other building materials.

13. They have been adapted so that reverse gear can be engaged whilst the car is in forward motion.

14. The tyre walls have been reinforced so that the car can be driven into or over kerbing.