Chapter 267

Thank Petre for this one:

A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the Squad Leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.

I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum-bag who got what he deserved.

He yelled back, “Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn’t even an American.

So I said, “Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!

He retaliated by yelling, “Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!

And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when the truck hit us.

✧ ✧ ✧

Compliments of Charm_Brights ‎

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.

The old farmer said, “Well, as I see it, most politicians are ‘Post Turtles’.” Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.

The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle,” the old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain, “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of idiot put him up there to begin with.”

Best explanation of a politician I’ve ever heard.

✧ ✧ ✧