Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 260
Compliments of dorsetmike
The Annual Spoonerism Conference was hit by rumours of a delegate food shortage. This was attributed to a pack of lies.
Say thanks to BBBB
Not original but they made me smile.
I am considering a new career in mirror cleaning. It is something I can see myself doing, (A Heads up:::: Jim7 applied for the job)
A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer. “That’ll be five dollars”, says the bartender, and the guy throws 20 quarters onto the floor. Reluctantly, the bartender picks up the coins and serves the beer.
The next day, the guy comes into the bar, asks for a beer, and again throws 20 quarters onto the floor.
On the third day, he asks for a beer, and hands the bartender a $10 bill. The bartender takes advantage of his chance for revenge, throws 20 quarters onto the floor and yells “here’s your change then!” The guy looks down at the coins and says: “I’ll have another beer, please.”
A weasel walks into a bar.
The Bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Many thanks to J & B for the following.
Politically Correct Christmas Music
I saw that some radio stations are refusing to play “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” because a handful of hysterical people have lost their minds.
Why stop there? Here are some other holiday classics that should also definitely be banned...
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: condones cheating
The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation
Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advances
White Christmas? Racist
Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalker
Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Bullying
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben
Santa Baby: Gold digger, blackmail
Frosty the Snowman: Sexist; not a snow woman
Do You Hear What I Hear: blatant disregard for the hearing impaired
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Make the yuletide GAY? Wow, just wow
Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet: animal abuse
Mistletoe and Holly: Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two? How did this song ever see the light of day?
Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown demanding they get married ... forced partnership
I’ll Be Home For Christmas: Not if you are homeless. That’s just Insensitive
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer: Homicide
To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account
(Why register?)
* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.
