Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 259
Dear God: It’s me, the Dog
Dear God: Is it on purpose that our
Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
But seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
On your couch? Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after
The jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
The colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
Named for a Dog? How often do you
See a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
Ride! Would it be so hard to rename
The ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off
In the forest and no human hears him,
Is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human
Verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
Horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
Electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
Flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs,
Less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat’s food before he eats
it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s
underwear when he’s on the toilet.
6. Sticking my nose into someone’s
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
7. I don’t need to suddenly stand
straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
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