Chapter 247

Thanks to kilocyclejoe ‎ for this one.

Reginald and Cedric were good friends who belonged to the same Men’s Club.

One evening, Reginald came in and was greeted by Cedric. “Reggie, old boy! Where on earth have you been? I haven’t seen you in over a fortnight.”

“Well,” said Reggie, “I’ve been to Inja, actually.”

“Inja! I suppose you had some exciting adventures while you were there?”

“Yes, I remember one exceedingly vividly,” Reggie replied. “I was crawling, on my hands and knees, through the rushes beside the river Ganges. I parted the rushes before me, and came face to face with a gigantic Bengal tiger! G-r-r-r-r-r. I defecated.”

“I say, Reggie, had I found myself in the same position, crawling on my hands and knees through the rushes beside the river Ganges, and coming face to face with a gigantic Bengal tiger, I might well have defecated, myself!”

“No, no, Cedric, you don’t understand. Just now. When I said ‘G-r-r-r-r-r.’ I defecated!”

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A Short one from dorsetmike ‎

How do you make a bandstand?

Take away their chairs.

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When I was a little girl and had a tiny quim The little boys would play with it and poke a finger in Now that I am older and my twat has lost its charm They not only poke a finger in but half their effin arm

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Thanks to southman ‎for this one.

The set-up is that this is an old couple who been married 50 years, and they’re sitting on their porch at sunset just rocking back-and-forth. Suddenly the wife reaches over with a cane and wacks her husband on his shins. He said “whatcha do that for”?

She said, “that’s for 50 years of bad sex”.

They then sat there rocking for a moment longer, and then the husband reaches over with his cane and wacks her on the shins.

“What’cha do that for”, she said.

He glared at her, then said, “that’s for knowing the difference.”

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