Chapter 239

Say Thanks to dorsetmike ‎for the following:

Before the fall of the USSR, there was a Communist weather forecaster named Rudolph. One day he said to his wife, “It’s going to rain pretty soon.” She looked out the window and said, “I don’t know, it looks clear to me.”

The forecaster drew himself up and said, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Why did JSBach have so many children? There were no stops on his organ...

Women are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be, buddy?”

The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking.

“You’d drink them this fast too if you had what I have.”

The bartender hastily asks, “What do you have, pal?”

The man quickly replies, “I have a dollar.”

A young woman arrived late at a concert to find the inner door closed. She showed her ticket to an usher and asked to be let in.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” said the usher. “I can’t open this door until intermission.”

“But I won’t disturb anyone,” promised the young woman. “Ill just stand at the back of the auditorium and listen.”

“Sorry ma’am.”

“But they’re playing a new symphony that I’m particularly anxious to hear,” the young woman said pleadingly.

“That’s just it, ma’am,” sighed the usher. “If I opened the door now, half the audience would rush out.”

Did you hear about the woman who couldn’t find a singing partner? She had to buy a duet yourself kit.

Q: What happened to the guy who fell through a harp?

A: He is in the hospital; rooms 25 to 40.

✧ ✧ ✧