Chapter 238

A Guy wants a divorce. He tells the judge, “I just can’t take it anymore. Every night she’s out until way after midnight, just going from bar to bar.”

The Judge asks, “What’s she doing?”

The guy answers, “Looking for Me!”

Say thanks to topagent1963 for this one:

Due to the Me Too movement I need to tell you about my co-worker Fred, He was brought up on harassment charges due to his telling a co-worker her hair smelled nice. The reason he got into trouble was he was a midget!!

Special Thanks to Reltney McFee

So, this fellow walks into a big time show business agent’s office, carrying a dog, and says, “I can make you a million bucks! My dog, here, and I have a talking dog act!”

The agent, wise in the ways of vaudeville, says, “Get out a here! Nobody wants to see a talking dog act!”

The guy persists. “Just gimme a minute! We’ll amaze you, and you’ll change your mind!”

Without missing a beat, he turns to the dog, and asks, “What do you call that thing on top of a house?”

The dog cocks his head, and replies, “Roof!”

The guy continues. “What’s On the outside of a tree?”

The dog, excited now, responds, “Bark!”

Next question, “Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?”

The answer came. “Ruth!”

The agent leaped to his feet, and chased the pair from his office, hurling curses, and slammed the door with finality.

The guy sat on the curb, disappointment in every sigh. His dog lay beside him, forlornly, until he sat up, and, leaning into his master’s shoulder, wondered, “Ya think I shoulda gone with Dimaggio?”