Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 237
Sex Life & Coca-Cola Two friends meet after many years and talk about their past life.
One asks the other: “And how’s your sex life”?
“Same As Coca-Cola”
“Oh great! ... Full of bubbles, eh?”
“Nothing like that! Before it was ‘CLASSIC’, then it became ‘LIGHT’ and now it is ‘ZERO’!
✧ ✧ ✧
These are compliments of dorsetmike
Japanese tourist in London, very annoyed at the daily changes in the Yen-Pound Sterling exchange rate :
Japanese tourist, to bank cashier : “Why evvy time I come here the rate different?”
Bank cashier : “Fluctuation.”
Japanese tourist : “Fluck you too, European!”
There was a musican called Gager Who, as the result of a wager, Consented to fart The whole oboe part Of Mozart’s Quartet in F major
I was reading an article on Gandhi recently. I never realised that he had very bad breath. Also, he had huge callouses on his feet because he never wore shoes. And his general health was very bad.
In fact, you could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic cursed by halitosis.
Have you heard the one about the agnostic dyslectic insomniac?
He lay awake all night wondering if there was a dog or not...
A man walks into a pastry shop and orders 5 pies, 3 sausage rolls and 2 cakes. As he leaves the shop he stumbles across a homeless man on the footpath who says, “I haven’t eaten for two days”, to which the man with the pastries replies; “I wish I had your willpower”!!!
Jack: Just bought a hearing-aid for two dollars!
Jill: What kind is it?
Jack: Quarter past ten.
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