Chapter 235

From a Friend of J & G.

An avid golfer married a stunningly attractive young lady, but on returning from their honeymoon found his game had suffered, he was distraught.

Then one Sunday morning a man knocks on his door, produces an emerald green ball with a shamrock logo and announces that using this ball his game will be back, better that ever before, the catch, the man wants to take his wife to bed.

The guy barely had time to explain this to his wife before grabbing up his clubs and heading out to the course.

Not to long after, he returns, angry beyond words, apoplectic.

“It started out just as you said, a hole-in-one on the first, again on the second, but the third was awful, lost my ball in the lake. Twice.”

“Ahh.” Explained the man. “She didn’t swallow.”

“Then my game was back, hole-in-one on the rest of the front nine. People came out to watch, they cleared the course, and it was wonderful. But...”

“Yes?”

“I couldn’t play the back nine, tried to tee off on the tenth, couldn’t hit the ball, people laughed, I chucked my club away and came home.”

“Ah yes.” Replied the man. “Your wife refused anal. What would you like to do?”

“Tie the bitch up, I’m going back to the course for another round...”

Voted Best Scottish Short Joke

A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,

‘Excuse me Miss, do ye hae any books on suicide?’

The librarian stops doing her tasks, looks at him - over the top of her glasses and says,

‘Buggeroff, ye’ll no bring it back!’