Chapter 230

Don’t know shit

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student said to his friend: “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.” The other student says: “No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class.”

Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, “We’re medical students and couldn’t help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?”

The old man said, “I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.” The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.” The old man said, “You thought but you are wrong.” The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.” The old man said, “You thought but you are wrong.”

So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?” The old man said, “I thought it was a fart ... but I was wrong, too!”...

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Compliments of Reltney Mc ‎

I heard a variation of that story (the wine-for-husband story)

During Mr. Clinton’s presidency, it was reported, the President descended the stairs of Marine One, on the South Lawn of the White House, carrying two pigs. The Marine Guards, at the bottom of the stairs, saluted as Mr. Clinton reached the ground. Mr. Clinton, in an expansive mood, turned to one of the Marines, and regaled him with the tale of the pigs.

“Son, these here are two of the nicest Arkansas Razorback hogs I have eve seen. They don’t have pigs like this, anywhere else in the world, and I got two of ‘em, right here! I got one for Hillary, and one for Chelsea! What do you think about that?”

The Marine, rigid in attention, holding his salute, responded after a moment’s thought, “Good trade, sir!”

Maybe, after a week or two, it will not appear to be altogether derivative?

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Say thanks to Earl for this one:‎

The man who came up with the glow in the dark condom received a life time achievement award in marketing. It turns out both men and women love the concept. For men think “Feel The Power of My Force” and wave their now glowing member around like a light saber from Star Wars. Meanwhile the woman in their life is thinking “How Romantic he let in a firefly.”

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These are from a friend of J & G:

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says “Did you see that?” “No” the second guy says. “Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead” the first guy says. “Oh” says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, the first guy says “Did you see that?” “See what?” the second guy asks. “Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there”. “Oh”. A few minutes later the first guy says: “Did you see that?” By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says “Yes, I did!” And the first guy says: “Then why did you step in it?”

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The couple had been married for twenty years. It was a happy, wonderful marriage, except that the wife was very unfaithful. The husband finally got so tired of her unfaithfulness that he made her promise to never again be untrue to him. One day he came home and found her in bed with a midget. He cried out “My wife, my love, after you made all those promises, I find you in bed with another man, and a midget at that!” She replied “My dearest husband, the love of my life, do you not believe me, do you not see, do you not understand? I am tapering off”.

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