Chapter 217

A man goes to the doctor only to find out that his old doctor retired and has been replaced by a drop dead gorgeous redhead.

As she walks into the examining room his jaw drops.

She looks at him and says “Yes, I know I’m young and good looking. But, I can assure you that I graduated top of my class and have excelled at my internship. I am absolutely qualified to diagnose any problem you might have. So, what are you in here for today?”

“My wife says my dick tastes funny.”

A Cowboy said to a Rancher, ‘Is that your dog?’

The Rancher replied, ‘Yup.’

‘Mind if I talk to him?’

‘Durn fool, don’t you know dogs don’t talk?’

The Cowboy replied, ‘So what’s the harm? May I?’

‘Go right ahead.’

The Cowboy said to the dog, ‘Howdy!’

The dog replied, ‘Hello.’ The Rancher’s eyes pop wide.

The Cowboy continued, ‘Is this your master?’

‘Yep, he sure is.’

‘Does he treat you alright?’

‘Sure does. Every day he takes me for a walk, he feeds me all kinds of great food, and once a week he takes me to the lake to play.’ Rancher was dumbfounded.

The Cowboy said to the Rancher, ‘Is that your horse over there?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do you mind if I talk to him?’

The Rancher replied, ‘I know the dog spoke to you, but I know for a fact that horses can’t talk.’

‘Well, then what would it hurt?’

‘Go right ahead.’

The Cowboy said to the horse, ‘Hello.’

The Horse replied, ‘Hello.’ The Rancher stood there with his jaw wide open.

The Cowboy asked, ‘Is that your owner?’

‘Yup, sure is.’

‘He treat you okay?’

‘Sure, he rides me every day, brushes me down at the end of the day, and he keeps me in the barn away from the elements.’

‘Sounds good.’ The Cowboy then asked the Rancher, ‘Are those your sheep over there?’

The Rancher is horrified and stammers, ‘Them sheep out there, they’re nothing but a bunch of liars!’

Penis study:

Several years ago the United States funded a study to determine why the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft. The study took 2 years and cost over $180,000.00. The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, Germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the U.S. study were incorrect. After three years of research and cost an excess of $250,000.00, they concluded that the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft to provide the women with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the German study were released, Poland decided to conduct their own study. The Poles didn’t really trust the U.S. or German studies. So after nearly three weeks of intensive research and at a cost of right around $75.00, the Polish study reached a conclusion. The Polish study came to the final conclusion that the reason the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.

Back in the 1850’s a newly married couple are in the wagon headed to the farm. The horse acts up and the man pulls back on the reigns to stop him and says, “That’s one, Billy.”

A little more down the road the horse does the same thing. Man pulls back harder and says, “That’s two, Billy.”

Almost to the farm the horse really acts up and the farmer stops the wagon, gets off and pulls a fence post from the wagon and WHAPS the horse right between the eyes then he gets on the wagon.

His wife says, “What is the matter with you, that was a terrible thing to do.”

Farmer says, “That’s one, Martha.”