Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 216
Got a match?
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, “What for? Are you going to set it on fire?”
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TEE SHIRTS MOTTOS
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me then plug me back in. See if that works.
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? Yeah, I don’t have one of those.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking “I might as well pee while I’m here.”
Elect a clown - expect a circus.
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Johnny said: “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
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Birthday
My wife isn’t speaking to me right now because apparently I ruined her birthday. I’m not sure how I did it.
Hell, I didn’t even know it was her birthday!
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When asked if they want a boy or a girl...
New prospective parents always say we don’t care as long as it’s healthy.
Just once, I would like to see a new mother in the delivery room ask the doctor what is it, and have him answer:
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