Chapter 215

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30and smells the distinctive smell of paint.

He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said...

(You’ll love this... )

(I know you will... )

“FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.”

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Thank Dorsetmike for this one:

Two blondes walking in the forest. They come across a set of tracks and the first blonde says “those are wolf tracks!” The second disagrees, saying “no, they’re mountain lion tracks!”

They were still arguing about it when the train hit them.

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These are compliments of gizmachee‎

Since you got into the elephant jokes: Why does an elephant paint his balls red? So he can hide in the apple tree.

How did Tarzan die? He was picking apples...

Why do ducks have flat feet? For stomping out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet? From stomping out flaming ducks...

Why isn’t it safe to walk through the jungle between the hours of 3 and 5 in the afternoon? Cuz that’s when elephants are jumping out of trees.

Why do alligators have short legs? They were walking through the jungle between the hours of 3 and 5 in the afternoon.