Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 210
Three blondes walk into a building ... You’d think one of them would’ve seen it.
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Father O’ Malley is hearing confessions one day when he suddenly feels an attack of the Hershey squirts coming on. When Mr. Hennesy steps into the confessional he begs him to take his place hearing confessions while he runs for the men’s room.
“Sorry Father, I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know what to give for penance. How many Hail Marys? How many Our Fathers?”
“It’s very simple, my son. There’s a book over here. Just look up the sin and it tells you the penance.”
Hennesy reluctantly agrees to take the good father’s place while the father makes a dash for the toilet. He’s a little nervous at first but it doesn’t take long before he gets the hang of it.
Masturbation: Ten Hail Marys Adultery: Five Our Fathers and five Hail Marys.
All goes well until a young woman enters the booth and confesses to giving her husband’s boss a blow job.
Hennesy flips through the pages. No blow job anywhere in the book. Hennesy is frantic and the father is still busy in the men’s room. He needs to ask someone - anyone - what to do. He opens the confessional door a crack and he sees little Timmy O’Toole, an altar boy, waiting his turn to confess.
“Psst! Hey kid! What does Father O’Malley give for a blow job?”
Timmy smiles and answers, “Usually a Big Mac and a chocolate shake.”
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Father O’Malley hearing confessions when in steps little Johnny, and he says, “Father, I was intimate with a young girl yesterday.”
Father O’Malley asks, “was it Jenny O’Rourke?”
No, Was it Mary Ellis, No, Was it Kathleen Curran? No says Johnny, as Father O’Malley begins to insist on the name, Johnny runs out.
On the street are two of his friends, and he yells to them, “I got the names, let go get laid.”
✧ ✧ ✧
At the Zoo
A young family were visiting the Zoo when their 7 year old daughter who is watching the elephants in their enclosure, sees the elephant’s penis hanging down below the male elephant. She asks her father, “Daddy, what is that hanging down under that elephant over there?”
Her father, not ready to have that talk with her says, “I don’t know go ask your mother.”
So the little girl goes over and asks her mother, “Mommy what is that thing hanging down under that elephant?”
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