Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 209
Astute (but true) Observations
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dipshit’s.
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The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
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I live in my own little world, but it’s OK. Everyone knows me here.
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I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. I said, “Left Tackle?”
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I don’t do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
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I don’t like political jokes. I’ve seen too many get elected.
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The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
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If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary’s.
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Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
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Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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