Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 191
The following are compliments of J & B
As we age...
A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a colorful circus banner: DON’T MISS THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN! Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts. Animals, clowns, contortionists and other performances - but where’s the Amazing Goldstein?
Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes are turned to the center ring. There in the spotlight is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man 5 foot tall and barely able to walk up to the table. He unzips his pants and whips out the longest shlong and proceeds to smash all three walnuts with three swings!
The crowd erupts in thunderous applause and the Amazing Goldstein is carried off by the clowns.
Twenty years later the salesman visits a nearby town and lo and behold — he sees a faded banner for the same circus and the same “DON’T MISS THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN!” message. The salesman can’t believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his incredible act! Of course, he buys a ticket and sits impatiently through all the acts until again the center ring is illuminated. This time there are three COCONUTS on the table.
Out comes Goldstein. The little old man takes forever to creep to the table but this time he smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing God-given weapon.
The stunned salesman requests a meeting with Goldstein after the show. In his dressing room he tells the old man he’s never seen anything like his act. But he wants to know why he is now smashing coconuts instead of the much easier walnuts.
The Amazing Goldstein replies, “Oy, my eyes aren’t what they used to be!”
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