Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 182
Compliments of a friend of J & G:
What do you call foreplay in Tennessee?
‘Hey sis, you awake?’
A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brough a pitcher of orange juice and the man’s jaw dropped.The farmer said, “Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole pitcher.”The waitress simply said, “Sir, this is Texas. Every thing is bigger.” So when the waitress brought the steak the farmer said, “Excuse me, I ordered a steak not the whole cow!” Again the waitress said, “This is Texas every thing is bigger.” After he finished he had to go to the bathroom so he asked the waitress were it was. She told him it was down the hall first door to the left. Just as he walked through the men’s room door he fell into a deep pool and screamed, “HELP, HELP! DON’T FLUSH!”
Q: What do you call a guy from West Virginia who doesn’t have sisters?
A: A virgin.
What’s the state flower of West Virginia?
A satellite dish.
A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps.
“Son, is your mother home?” The little boy nods yes.
“Can I see her please?” The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep.
“Son, do you see what your mother is doing?” The boy nods yes.
“Do you know what that is?” The boy nods.
“Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Naaaaaaaaaaaah!”
How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?
If she can run faster that her brothers.
Everybody from the North thinks everybody from the South is just sitting around, barefoot, wearing overalls, eating grits, watching ‘Hee Haw,’ listening to country music, drinking Jack Daniel’s, going to tractor pulls, wearing trucker caps, dipping Skoal, picking cotton, riding around in pickup trucks, having sex with our relatives, and looking for UFOs. And that’s not true -- it’s not -- I’ve never seen a UFO, and second cousins don’t count.
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