Chapter 18

Vetted New

These are compliments of Mike:

As he looked at her driver’s license he was surprised to notice that attached to it was a conceal weapon permit.

Taken aback, he couldn’t help but ask, “Do you have a gun in your possession?”

She replied in her crackly voice, “Indeed, I do. Why I have a 45 automatic in the glove box.”

The trooper then asked if she had any other weapons.

She replied, “I have a 9 mm Glock in the center console.”

The shocked trooper asked, “Is that all the weapons you are transporting?”

The little old lady held up her purse and replied, “Well, I do keep a 38 special in my purse.”

Finally, the astonished trooper asked, “What are you afraid of?”

And the little old lady smiled and replied: “Not a Fucking Thing.”

This one is compliments of dorsetmike‎

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy three dime coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back...

The boy coughs up two of the dimes but is still choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help...

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy’s’ testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly ... tighter and tighter!!!

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the dimes, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

‘No,’ the woman replied. I’m with the Tax office... ‘

Cheers MIKE