Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 168
This one is compliments of netmanager99
If I had a ranch where I raised Chinese bears...
Would it be called The Pandarosa?
Where did the word “politics” come from?
Well, on the one hand “poly” means “many”...
And on the other hand “ticks” are blood sucking creatures.
This one is compliments of sbrooks103
The Pope, Henry Kissinger and a Boy Scout are on a plane when they have to bail out, but there are only two parachutes.
Kissinger says, “I’m the smartest person in the world. I must be saved,” grabs a pack and jumps.
The Pope turns to the Boy Scout. “My son, I have lived a ling, full life. Take the other parachute and save yourself.”
The Boy Scout just smiles. “Don’t worry, Your Holiness. The world’s smartest man just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack!”
The following items are compliments of J & B.
After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.
The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”
“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.
“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.
The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”
“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!”, the corporal said.
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