Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 164
From a Friend of J & G
A guy goes into a public washroom and has to use the only available urinal, between two elderly men. He glances to his left and sees the guy pissing, but there are two streams.
“What the hell is that?” he asks. “War wound. I took a bullet in the penis in North Africa. They were able to save my dick but they had to leave two holes”
Then the guy looks to his right and sees ... three streams!
“What the hell is that?” “War wound. Germany, bullet in the penis, left three holes”.
The two veterans then look over at the guy in the middle and see... 12 streams!
“War wound??” “Nah my zipper’s stuck”
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. “Boy, I’d give anything to sink this putt” the golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers “Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?”
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says “Sounds good to me” and promptly sinks the putt!
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again “Gosh, I wish I could get an eagle on this one”.
The same stranger is suddenly at his side again and whispers “Would it be worth giving up another quarter of your sex life to make an eagle?”
Shrugging, the golfer replies “Okay” and, amazingly, he makes the eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says “Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?”
Definitely” the golfer replies, and, sure enough, he makes the eagle and wins the match!
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks along beside him and says “I haven’t really been fair with you because you don’t know who I am. I’m Satan, and from this day forward you really will have no sex life at all”.
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