Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 151
These are compliments of Fmwarmac
Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”
Brunette: “I don’t know.”
Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”
Yo momma is so fat when she went to KFC the cashier asked, “What size bucket?” and yo momma said, “The one on the roof.”
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Yo momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Q: Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
A: She can’t find the eleven
Q: How does a black girl tell if she is pregnant?
A: When she pulls the tampon out all the cotton is picked.
Q: What do you call white people running down a hill?
A: An avalanche.
Q: What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
A: A mudslide.
Q: What do you call black people running down a hill?
A: A jail break.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them.
The brunette is called up. She says, “Ready, aim, tornado!” Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away.
Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, “Ready, aim, earthquake!” Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away.
Then it’s the blonde’s turn, who says, “Ready, aim, fire!”
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, “Not again.”
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