Chapter 144

Short and sweet from dorsetmike‎

Two monkeys were arrested at Edinburgh Zoo today, after throwing ignited feces at zoo visitors. Several people remain in hospital, suffering from turd debris burns.

Compliments of a Friend of J & G.

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. “Who are you?” he asked. “I’m the Devil” she responded. “Well, come on home with me” he said “I married your sister”.

A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico. “Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box”. His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary. “That’s not all” says the doctor. “You don’t even want to know how they make their condoms!”

Kevin: “My wife and I argue a lot. She’s very touchy, the least little thing sets her off”. Christopher: “You’re lucky. Mine is a self-starter”.