Chapter 138

A statement by Joevsr

Two new-borns side by side in their cribs.

One says to the other “Sad thing about this Joe ... is in 70yrs, we will be doing the same thing and still be bald, no teeth and wearing diapers.”

Say thanks to Charm Brights‎ 4 this one!!

A new employee was going on his first foreign trip for his employers, so naturally he was a little nervous.

At the airport he sat having a coffee in the departure lounge when he overheard a young man being given some advice by an older companion, “When you get to Tokyo you should have the wax treatment. It is wonderful.”

“Where do I get it?” the young man asked.

So he quickly made a note of the address the older man quoted.

On his first evening in Tokyo he thought he would try this, so he took a taxi from his hotel but the driver would not take him there, insisting on dropping him at the end of the street.

‘In for penny, in for a pound,’ he thought and started down the street looking for the house number he had been given. As he walked along, the street looked less and less well kept, until it was truly shabby. Then he found the number he wanted, and knocked on the door.

It was opened by an old crone looking rather like one of the witches from Macbeth.

“Do you do the wax treatment?” he asked.

“Not me, my granddaughter,” came the reply, “come in.”

‘Sounds a bit more promising,’ he thought and just then a beautiful young woman appeared wearing only a see-through kimono. ‘That’s more like it,’ he thought.

She led him into a room at the back of the house, and undressed him, but would not let him touch her tits. Then she sat him down in a chair next to a low table and started to stroke his penis which quickly became hard. She made him turn on his side and laid his prick on the low table, then oiled her hand and started stroking it again.

He thought he had never been as hard or as big in his life.

She then started to tease it with a feather and to his surprise it grew even bigger and even longer.

Just as he felt he was about to cum, quick as a flash she hit his pride and joy with a karate chop...

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and all the wax came out of his ears.

This one is compliments of dorsetmike‎

“Where the hell have you been? You said you’d be done with golf by noon.”

“I’m so sorry Honey ... but you probably don’t want to hear the reason.”

Wife--”I want the truth, and I want it NOW!”

Husband--”Fine. We finished in under 4 hours; a quick beer in the clubhouse. I hopped into the car, and would have been here by noon but on the way home, I spotted a girl half our age struggling with a flat tire.

“I changed it in a jiffy, and next she’s offering me money. Of course I refuse it, then she tells me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton and begs me to stop by so she can buy me a beer. She’s such a sweetie, I said yes.

“Before you know it, one beer turned into three or four, and I guess we were looking pretty good to each other.

“Then she tells me she has a room right there at the Sheraton, less than 50 steps from our table. She suggested we get some privacy while pulling me by the hand.

“Now I’m in her room ... clothes are flying ... the talking stopped ... and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable. It must have gone on for hours, because before I know it, the clock says 5:30. I jump up, throw my clothes on, run to the car, and here I am. There. You wanted the truth ... You got it.”

Wife--”Bullshit! You played 36 holes, didn’t you?”

Thank eg5305‎ for this one:

I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in...

I asked the trainer standing next to me, “What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?

The trainer looked me over and said; “I would recommend the ATM in the lobby.”