Chapter 137

These are compliments of Fmwarmac

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”

“I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny.

“Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.

“Okay then ... good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!”

10 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)

1. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?

2. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

3. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.

4. If you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, ‘cause it’s gonna be a really long time.

5. Some day you’ll go far—and I really hope you stay there.

6. I’m trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just can’t get my head that far up my ass.

7. Sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

8. I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.

9. You only annoy me when you’re breathing, really.

10. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case.