Chapter 130

Compliments of Allan

Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person

Marriage is similar to a bank. There are penalties for early withdrawal, as well as for depositing in another account...

The Spanish magician announces he will disappear on the count of three. “Uno”. He intones. “Dos”, he whispers. Poof! He disappears without a trace.

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores ... Well, he’s a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks. “Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussy halfway across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says,

“You gonna tell him or should I?”