Chapter 120

These are compliments of fmwarmac

A blonde was so upset about everyone always making fun of her being blonde that she decided to hang herself.

A little while later, a couple of guys walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.

“What are you doing?” They ask her.

“I’m hanging myself.” She said.

The men were confused. Then one of them said, “If you’re trying to hang yourself, you’re supposed to put the rope around your neck.

“Duh,” she said. “I tried that and I couldn’t breath.”

One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, “Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to ten... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!”

The mother responds, “Very good honey.” The blonde asks, “Is that because I’m a blonde mommy?” And the mother responds, “Yes dear.”

Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, “Today in school we learned our ABCs! The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! ... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!”

The mother says, “Very good honey.” The blonde then asked. “Is that because I’m a blonde, Mommy?” The mother responds, “Yes dear.”

The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy today in school we went swimming! But I was the only one who had breasts. Is that because I’m a blonde, Mommy?” And the mother responds, “No Honey, it’s because you’re twenty five.”

A blonde is on vacation and she walks into an Internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mom in America.

She doesn’t know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: “Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?”

The guy say’s, “Yeah, but it will cost ya.”

And the blonde says, “Sure I’ll do anything for my mom.”

The guy says, “In that case, follow me.”

So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: “Well go on then you said you’d do anything!”

So she picks up his d.ck, holds it to her mouth and says: “Hello ... mom are you there?”

Once there was a magical mirror. When you told the truth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever.

One day three college girls went to the mirror.

The red head said, “I think I’m the smartest one.” Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world.

The brunette then said, “I think I’m the prettiest one.” Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good-looking boyfriend, and a lot of money.