Chapter 12

Daddy’s car in the woods

Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. “Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...”

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.”

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the oil rigs.”

Mummy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut the fuck up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!

The following are compliments of dorsetmike

Motoring organizations gave out the following advice for those intending to travel in the snow and ice conditions:

Take the following items with you, a shovel, blankets, extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves, food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, spare battery and fuel and a first aid kit.

I felt such an idiot on the bus.

Severe weather warning 2:

Southerners are advised not to travel unless absolutely necessary.

Northerners, You’ll need your big coat.