Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 116
These are compliments of fmwarmac
A terribly overweight blonde woman goes to her doctor about her weight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat vegetables and grains for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
The next time I see you, you will have lost at least 5 pounds.”
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nodded.
“I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean?”
“No, from skipping.”
A cosmetic surgeon was sitting in his consulting room chatting to a friend when a beautiful woman walked in, kissed the surgeon and said: “Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. I felt ugly before, but now you have turned me into a princess.”
When the gorgeous lady left the room, the friend asked: “Wow, who was that? You’ve certainly done a good job on her.”
The surgeon replied: “Oh, that was my mother.” And they continued their conversation.
A few minutes later, another beautiful lady walked into the room. Even more stunning than the first, she, too, kissed the surgeon and said: “Thank you so much. You have made me look twenty years younger. The facelift and liposuction have done wonders for me.”
As she left, the friend exclaimed: “Wow, she looks like a supermodel! Who was she?”
“Oh,” replied the surgeon nonchalantly, “that was my wife.” And they carried on with their conversation.
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