Chapter 115

Stay thanks to St John‎ for this group...

Two homosexual guys were walking down the road when one looked at the other and said “You see that guy across the road?”

“Wow, he’s cute!!” the other said.

“Well, I had sex with that guy a couple of years back.”

“No shit??” the other asked.

“Not much...” replied the first.

A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there’s nothing special ... we just flat out tell’ em they’re gonna die...

Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.

The doctor said “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint, and a shovel.”

“And what do I do with these, doc?”

The doctor replied “Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. That night if she says ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw’ you hit her with the shovel.”

Steve went to the urologist complaining of discharge dripping from his penis, the doctor took one look and told him he had V.D.

“No way” said the shocked Steve, blushing terribly. “It must be a cold.”

“Call it what you like, Steven” said the doctor “but, until it sneezes, we’ll have to treat it for V.D.”

A man was complaining to a friend “I had it all - money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman ... then, poof! It was all gone!”

“What happened?” asked the friend.

“My wife found out...”

A feminist was pointing out the many superiorities women have over men and I was at a loss refuting any of them, until her crowning statement that among their greatest abilities women could multi task.

So I told her to shut up and sit down, you know what she couldn’t do either, although my black eye is now getting better.

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can’t even stand up for themselves.

For the first time in many years, an old man travelled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn’t help but comment “The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.”

“Well, sir,” the attendant replied with a grin “You’re really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.”

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt, 2 oranges, 1 stick of women’s deodorant. She then goes to the checkout line.