Chapter 109

Say thanks to dorsetmike‎ for this one:

Police have arrested a man who fell into the workings whilst stealing a combine harvester.

They’re expect he’ll to be baled tomorrow.

Compliments of Allan B

Algebra – what mermaids wear to hold up their breasts.

Cannibals serve food at a wake. It saves a lot on the burial costs...

Adam was a White man. Did you ever try to take a rib from a Black man?

A candidate for the police force was asked, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother”? He replied, “Call for backup.”

When you are dead, you don’t know that you are dead. It is difficult only for others. It is the same when you are stupid.

People my age are so much older than me.

I want to grow my own food, but I can’t find bacon seeds...

Just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in my car. Using my phone as a flashlight...

What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? One needs tweetment, and the other requires oinkment.

I’m starting meetings at my house for people who have OCD. I don’t have it, I’m just hoping they’ll take one look and start cleaning.

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1964, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen...