Chapter 101

First Day At Work:

A young millennial hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile; gave him a broom; and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a Harvard graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom I’ll show you how it works.”

Drunk in France-true event

This actually happened to an Englishman, in France, who was totally drunk.

A French policeman stops the Englishman’s car and asks if he has been drinking.

With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malt scotches there-after.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to breathe test the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed completely hammered.

He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French law, he is going to be arrested.

The Englishman answers with a bit of humor, “No sir, I do not! But while we’re asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and my wife is driving on the other side?

This one is compliments of J & H

A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday.

She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

She said, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”

He said, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind, but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He said,

“That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB.test line. It’s a good all-around combination and it’s on sale this week for only $20.00.”

She said, It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. Yes he replied, because I’m blind I have developed a keen sense of smell and hearing...

I’ll take it!” As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,” he said.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who ripped one. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and said, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asked, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?”

He replied, “Yes, Ma’am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Fish Bait is $3.50.”